Flah-rida

I decided recently to uproot my life and move from the center of the universe, NYC, to the center of...St Johns County, Florida, SAINT AUGUSTINE. I know, I know. Try to contain your jealousy. What was meant to be a 3 month stint in NYC, after returning empty-pocketed from my expat days in Italy, had turned into 4 years of fancy-free fun...and little else to show for myself. So I'm packing my bags and driving down to the orange state (?), state filled with oranges (?), ...anyway, they have orange juice and sun and...my parents have a house there so...right.

The plan is to find work either continuing in hotels, or a prestigious restaurant like Applebee's or nanny work. Something to make money so I can continue having adventures...eventually.

There are a few points I am hesistant about with the big move.

1. I have to drive down, albeit with mama, to Florida. That's about a 17-21 hour drive that we will be sharing. I did the calculations and I realized that I have not driven since before I moved to Italy. That was in 2006. With my further calculations (subtraction) that means that I have not driven for the past 5 years. Ouch. I also got my drivers license in 2004 which means that in my 30 years I have only driven for 2 of them. I also got into 2 car accidents in those 2 years. Needless to say, I am less than enthused for the big migration southward. My mother, however, is unwaveringly optimistic. Poor woman.

2. Florida in general is a challenge for me. Not the state, the word. As a New Englander I pronounce some of my words a little funny. While, or so I hear, Florida should be pronounced Floor-ida I say Flah-rida. Much like I say Faahr-head (forehead) and Ahh-range (orange). I have been practicing the "correct" pronunciation but it doesn't come easy. It goes like this "yeahsoI'vedecidedI'mdonewithNewYorkandI'mmovingto Floooooooorrrrrrr-ida." Not a natural flow. I'm sure I'll blow my cover within minutes of setting foot on their territory.

3. Finding work. I have been toying with the idea of moving to Florida for months and so I have been searching multiple sites to see what is available down there. Not much it seems. There is this one hotel there that my parents go on and on about. It's super-luxurious and fancy and that's where they see me working (obviously because I am both of those things as well?)  I go on this particular hotel's website frequently and see if they have anything available. Recently they had an open Hostess position available at their restaurant. Not really what I'm interested in but I decided to check it out. As I read "Essential Duties and Responsibilities" section I was overwhelmed. Not particularly challenging work but they seem like a very uptight and conservative establishment. "Not for me," I thought, but I kept perusing the pages and pages of duties. They were not leaving anything out....then I glanced at the "Qualifications" section. These are taken directly from the website:

LANGUAGE SKILLS:
Ability to read a limited number of two- and three-syllable words and to recognize similarities and differences between words and between series of numbers. Ability to print and speak simple sentences.

Um..I don't mean to toot my own horn but...seriously?

Read on... 

PHYSICAL DEMANDS:
While performing the duties of this job, the employee is frequently required to use hands to finger, handle, or feel and reach with hands and arms. The employee is occasionally required to stand and taste or smell.

Maybe I don't have anything to worry about. I think me and Flooooorrrrrida are going to get along just fine ;)

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